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How to find happiness


Since the very beginning, the pursuit of happiness has been the most important goal of mankind. The progress that man has made so far, in science, industry and civilization, comes from man's desire for happiness. But despite thousands of years of modernity and consumerism, why has happiness remained so elusive? Perhaps, man has been delusional about happiness, despite having always wanted to acquire happiness. Business people, for example, dedicate themselves to their business for money. An author writes for both money and popularity. A student studies for a degree and to earn. A religious man prays to a deity for the supposed benefits. All these people dedicate themselves to their respective jobs thinking that they will gain happiness at the end, but the jobs never end. If they end, they get replaced by another. The more a man has, the more he wants to have. If his desires are not fulfilled, he suffers. If his desires are fulfilled, he gains momentary happiness but desires more thereafter. The very fact that man seeks happiness proves that man is devoid of happiness. Does man ever find happiness?

Happiness seems to be a state where there are no desires but just a satisfaction of what is there. This satiety comes from inside and must be independent of external factors. By being satisfied with simple things, that are easy to have, one remains happy longer, but when one follows conventional methods of gaining happiness, by desiring more wealth, more fame or more power, or sees others doing so, one ceases to be happy.

In the Brihadaranyaka Upanishad, the sage Yajnavalkya said to his wife, Maitreyi - "It is neither for the husband's sake nor for the wife's sake, nor for the sake of the children, nor for the sake of wealth that the husband, the wife, the children and wealth are dear, but it is because of one's own self that everything is dear". One's own self is the true source of happiness. But not knowing this, the unwise try to acquire and associate with a number of external things, thinking that they can gain happiness from them. Years after the Upanishads, the Buddha found out how to gain true happiness, by leaving aside all conditioned things - "All conditioning is impermanent. All conditioning is suffering. All conditioning is non-self. One who sees this with wisdom gets rid of suffering".

We are raised from childhood to compare ourselves with others, to examine how happy we are compared to others, and to gain happiness by following and competing with others. Wouldn't we be happier without such externally imposed conditioning? Most people remain unaware of social and cultural conditioning. The exact problem with these is they create a perpetual conflict between what one is, and what one should ideally be, in order to be happy. Being unaware of this, people struggle and suffer to fulfill their ideals, and to live according to those ideals, thinking that they are made to become someone other than what they are. They start believing that happiness is something that can be sought and acquired, if what they are supposed to do is done accordingly. Many actually forget what they are, and some do not admit what they are, because of the inferiority complex that is created. The way that people suffer and struggle to live according to their ideals, by building new homes, buying new cars, finding new ways of making money and getting dating partners, building new industries, destroying nature, being cruel to animals and being dishonest most of the times, may make people seem inherently inhuman, ignorant, miserable and even insane, but these are the effects of conditioning. By making children compete with each other from the beginning, the people make them crazed for money. By separating boys from girls from the beginning, they make them crazed for sex. When individuals are crazed for material things, for example, they build, buy and sell more cars. The automobile industry, the entertainment industry and many such industries flourish, which may be good for the economy, but this is done at the cost of increasing suffering (desires) of everyone.

A bird who is born inside a cage and is raised inside a cage may start liking the cage. But can a bird really be happy inside a cage? The escape is not in seeking a better type of conditioning, and replacing one type of conditioning with another; not replacing one cage with another, but by getting rid of all kinds of conditioning.
A bird is certainly happy when she flies in freedom because she has all her bird-characteristics when she is in freedom. Only by having her intrinsic bird-characteristics, she is a happy bird. But so long as a bird likes the cage, there is no escape - "Blind is the world. Only a few see clearly. Only a few, like birds escaping the net, go to the realms of bliss."
Brihadaranyaka Upanishad 2.4.5
Dhammapada 20.277-279,13.174
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